Hello, my dearest loves! Thank you for showering me in your loving affection and magic yesterday. I have successfully completed my 35th revolution around the sun. Amazing, honestly!
Fun fact - I don't like cake or ice cream. Yeah, I know. I am more of a fruit or cookie gal. I also, don't really like celebrating my birthday with parties and such. I prefer just lowkey and authentic interactions with my favorite people in the world. I spent last night reading comments and posts dedicated to me while my family and I enjoyed pizza and fruit for dessert (balance!).
I have been poring over all of the comments on my giveaway post and so touched by the vulnerability, strength, magic and beauty people have shared about their paths with me. It truly brought me so much peace to be reminded of the incredible nature of the human condition, where others show compassion, and can lift one another up in those moments of darkness.
Ever since I was younger, I never thought I would see my mid-20s. And based on the path I was on, once upon a time, I probably would have agreed. I battled depression, an eating disorder, and of course my addiction to drugs and alcohol. I was diagnosed with cervical cancer in my early 20s, and something really shifted in me then. I realized I actually wanted to live. And live longer. And watch my only child (at the time) grow up. So, each birthday has been a beautiful reminder of precious time I have gotten to be earth side!
I usually try to do a birthday card spread for myself and just see what to expect for the upcoming year. I usually keep these private but this seemed like a fun post, so let's dive in. I found an intriguing spread from Little Red Tarot and thought it would be fun to share what my guidance was for this upcoming year. It was different from everything else I typically get, but it was interesting!
Image from Little Red Tarot - Birthday Tarot Spread Post (linked image).
So, I decided to use one of my favorite Tarot decks - Tarot Mucha (here is my review on this deck). She is a gorgeous stunner, and I love her imagery so much. And she feels like a very Taurus/Venusian deck.
Here is my spread:
1. What to leave behind in the past year.
This may be a good thing, or something you’re happy to say goodbye to - either way, you won’t be needing it any more.
Queen of Pentacles - "At home within oneself and life."
I was surprised to see this, but also not so much. Her presence and this card always feels like a representation of who I am. The Taurus Queen Mother, worried with the material and the physical world out there. Her energies are about reliability, practicality, and realistic ambitions that are work towards with dedication and integrity. In fact, I relate to this card so much and have had others say I remind them of the Queen of Pentacles. To have to leave that behind this year startled me, but we are not our possessions. And I have been feeling the call to simplify.
You have reached a point where you are at home within yourself and your life. You look at the life you have consciously created, the people within it and work you have dedicated yourself to and realize that it's a true expression of grounded abundance and prosperity.
Often you extend your knowledge, generosity and kindness in practical ways - this will see you assisting and supporting others with your family, community and workplace, encouraging them forward while keeping them and yourself grounded. You have or are on the way to reaching substantial financial independence through your wise decisions and ethics. Regardless of whether you feel you have achieved financial freedom yet, your life is strong, safe and stable.
This is a card for success through practical planning and having a realistic approach to ones goals. This Queen is well aware of her strengths and abilities. She knows that if the necessary hard work is put in then all her dreams and ambitions are attainable.
This card denotes a down to earth and practical approach to life and situations. It is important to have work/home balance, in fact, if you could work from home you probably would. This energy takes enjoyment in material pleasures and success. This is a very nurturing tarot card and taking care of people around you is important, especially by providing shelter, food and a warm place to be.
The main theme of the last year has been about getting my financial life back in order. I was laid off in 2016 and was unemployed for a large portion of the year, unfortunately - my spouse also was not working much and we were put into a position where our debt crawled back up, after us working so hard to minimize and pay it off. We felt very defeated. We have spent the majority of 2018 and all of 2017 trying to get a handle on everything and getting our financial affairs back in order.
Because of our focus on the financial aspects of our lives, we have been ruled by them. We have tackled our debt and are finally feeling a little freedom in paying things off and getting closer to living debt free where we can. We also have made some serious decisions about our entire quality of life and to make some decisions that may or not be aligned with other people's expectations of what we should do with out lives. At the end of the day, everyone is a critic, but it is time to start living from a place that speaks to our hearts.
It's critical that you trust yourself. You may not see things the way everyone else does, but your belief system works for you, and that's what's most important. Although it's important to listen to the input from others, ultimately we must make our own decisions. If others don't understand your decisions, that's their problem.
How do you view the Queen of Pentacles?
2. A lesson you learned last year, to carry with you into the next.
You learned a lot of things last year. This is the most important lesson to hold onto as you grow.
Knight of Pentacles - "Slow and steady wins the race."
Oh, you silly Universe. You got jokes, eh? Again, I relate to the Pentacles suit. I have too many planets in Taurus in the 10th house to not relate! With my Sun, Mercury (Rx), Mars, Chiron, and Vesta hooked up in the 10th house of course I relate to this suit. Mars energy reminds me of a Knight, not as immature as a page, but not really together like Saturn. Knights are the brave ones that go into war in the name of loyalty, right? Things have been moving at a snail's pace for me, but I also see the magic in this foundation I am building.
It is time to be methodical and meticulous in your actions and plans. Be patient with yourself at your step into the unknown of your developing dreams. Pay attention to the finer details, staying true and authentic to yourself and the vision. Take pleasure in the routine and even the tediousness of tasks, knowing that the more you energize them with your attention, the more momentum and vitality is given to the fruition of your goal. You are to nurture the process to ensure the outcome reaches the standard you originally envisioned. Sometimes, this card points to the more mundane elements of life. It represents routine, day-to-day activities, and general hard work that can sometimes be a ‘drag’. It indicates a conservative approach that is risk averse and very ‘safe’. This card also asks you to continue doing what you are doing, plodding along and making gradual progress. There is also no need to change your approach, just ‘more of the same’. Go with the flow, stick with your usual routines, and over time, you will reach your goals. This suggests that you are taking a very moderated and conservative approach to life right now, and while you may be feeling that change is imminent, you are sticking to your tried and tested ways of doing things. You have established that you need routine and careful planning if you are to achieve your goals. It may not necessarily be a very interesting or exciting period but at least you know you are on the right path to achieving your goals. Even if you are growing weary and tempted to quit, this Knight beckons you to keep at it, keep grinding away at it and you will eventually see success. Keep your promises and stay true to your commitments. This may not be a very interesting period of creation, but a necessary period. Yes, your visions may be in their infancy, yet you can clearly hold the picture of where you're going. The Knight of Pentacles points to messages, often with regard to money and finance. You are likely to finally receive news that you've been waiting on, and this news is likely to be good. This Knight is a very practical card. The news in question is unlikely to be that you've won the lottery. There is an unglamorous reality that lives between the conception of a dream and its manifestation, and most of this reality is the energy of the Knight of Pentacles. It may feel awkward and a time for you to be more focused, dedicated, and diligent in order to be the one laughing all the way to the bank. Remember, sometimes there is boring work required to harness a vision and root it into the ground. But it is more boring to have a bunch of pipe dreams, unlaid plans, and let great ideas die on the vine.
Funnily, this energy sort of surprised me, as I was hoping for some wands energy. But I take it all with a grain of salt. My goals are too big to be rushed! I hope that this gives me the practical energy and determination to power through the hard and boring parts. Because every large goal has that conception phase and that part that is the lull between it being delivered into the world.
The Knight tells us to pay attention to the mundane and normal parts of our lives. A wise man once said, "Take care of the little things, and the big things will all fall into place." I am being called to look at how I am handling my affairs. This is a grounding influence. This energy may be the "slow and steady wins the race," but it is showing me that my goals will manifest if I continue to to work towards them industriously. I have come to understand that some efforts just take time. This card is about getting clear on what it is that you wish to create and sticking to the task until it is complete. Success is assured if you have the commitment to the journey ahead. Do not let anyone or anything sway you off course, watch for distractions and navigate them carefully but surely. You got this. Stay the course. Move forward fearlessly. This energy is methodical, thorough, and unwavering. I feel this card's intentions and look at it as a push forward to get down and boogie - even if the boogie is slow.
Now read these two cards together - what is their joint message? How do they round up the past year and help you say goodbye?
Oh, the doubt that creeps in with the Queen of Pentacles who is so rooted in the physical that she misses the mystical. These two cards show me slow but steady progress and I am not seeing it. I am all about the tangible and I am not feeling in a tactile way, so the doubts are coming in. Am I making the best choices? Do I really know what will happen. We see her sitting on the throne, money in hand and a stabilizing force grounding her. We see the knight happy to ride away into the sunset. He has that money in hand, too. He is too much of this world to not be okay.
I am seeing that there is going to be some work that needs to be done as far as my relationship to the material and physical world. The Queen and Knight show maturity, but also responsibility. They know their role and importance. They also show me that their hard work does pay off. I need to be aware of not being too narrow minded in my own ideology or what I find to be important in this material existence. The Knight brings movement, so perhaps I will see things progress (which I have already been noticing more movement). They also bring intuitive changes. Perhaps I can finally find a better balance between work-home life.
I will be more aware of the restlessness I feel and the pressure to get going and get where I want to be. Growth sometimes needs nurturing and patience. I have to remember this and be gentle!
3. The next thing you will learn.
Look out for opportunities to explore this - it is an important lesson for you to learn.
Seven of Swords - "Secrets...."
I will admit that Swords cards and I, we aren't always understanding of one another. Even when I try my best to be open to the meaning and the magic that can happen with Swords cards. They can come off as so intense. And who is about that?! This card says, explore on your own!
This also reminds me that this is a time to think carefully about the way things are "supposed to be done," and whether or not I am meeting that standard. It is time to clean up my act. Take things one step at a time and don't try to do everything at once. I already know in my gut where the most important changes need to be made. Does that make it simple? Nope. Swords cards DGAF.
This card's meaning:
The Seven of Swords indicates secrets. Is it you that is keeping something tucked away or is it another who is keeping something hidden from you? Now is the time to work out which one is it is. The card also alludes to you or another who is trying to sneak away unnoticed from a situation that is not working anymore. Yet, these attempts to sneak away and move one rare allow one to actually move on. A card of caution. You are being to be cautious of your own motivations and acting along with keenly observing the motivations and actions of others. Deceit is in the air - whether it is purposeful or subconscious is of no consequence. Simply keep your wits about you and take the aligned path should you wish to avoid heartache or setbacks. Most importantly, this card can symbolize going it alone. You are ready to discard all external input that has been clouding your judgment and influencing our decisions and simply being doing life your way. Authentically. Unapologetically.
This card suggests that your best course of action is to use your intellect to gather information, review various choices, plan your next moves and account for possible obstacles that you may encounter. Now is not the time to blindly push forward, nor is it a time to bring issues to a boiling point.
This can be hard to process as things that I need to learn. I am a very trusting person, and I try to be as honest as I possible can. But I am also a deeply private person. So I don't often share much of myself with others so freely and easily. Do I feel tempted to "sneak away" - of course. I am ready for fresh, new, and changes. I have been stagnant. I am working a job that was more of necessity than enjoyment. I have been so HYPER focused on getting my financial life together again, that I have done whatever I could to get there.
Do I like dealing with issues? NOPE. I do tend to compromise myself out of situations I would much rather not have to tend to. But being a grown-up is about doing a lot of shit your don't want to do, sometimes. So, right now I feel like my life is in limbo. I have so much I need to get together and I keep distracting myself with other things.
But I have to face things. I need to confront things. I don't want to, but shit... I need to. I also love to be independent. I always have. I don't mind being alone. And it isn't always easy to remind myself of this. I also have a family and a spouse, so a lot of what I do does affect them. Given this, I have to constantly reign in some of my impulses and see the bigger picture. How does my behavior affect the people who hold a special place in my heart? 4. The theme of the year ahead.
What is the next year all about?
Ace of Pentacles - "From little things big things grow."
I am sensing a pattern. Pentacles suit, did all of you decide to show up for me on purpose? Hahahahaha, no but seriously. What is this?! Who did this?! Oh, it was me. I will say that I love Aces. And Pentacles Ace is my homeboy. It is also an enlightening placement to be in. As I enter the 35th year of my life, it is hopeful that this year brings forth the lessons I have had to address the last 5 years (very grown-up ones, at that) and starts to bring movement.
The meaning for this card:
The Ace of Pentacles is the seed of life, full of powerful vitality and potentiality. It will take a little of your effort and focus to cultivate and tend to this dynamic idea. Water it with action and practical measures and within time it will grow into something of worth and value - a reflection of your soul's desires and your own personal values. The Ace of Pentacles is for beginnings, new opportunities, business ventures or investments or the birth of fresh ideas inside an old and perhaps crumbling structure. It is confirmation that prosperity and success are to follow should you buckle down and devote yourself to the task. It is a card that asks for you to start where you are, with what you have and trust that the moment will build and grow, attracting the support and contacts necessary to see this idea or venture to fruition. Begin now to inject light, aligned vibrations and love into this new beginning. For each time you do, the energy behind it will grow. Remember, everything first starts as a wondrous explosion of feeling and thought - and from there form begins. The Ace of Pentacles, like the Aces of the other suits, is representative of new beginnings, fresh energy, and inspiration. In this case, the Pentacles are equivalent to the alchemical element of Earth, and therefore symbolize the material world and things associated with matter and the body. Pentacles also represent money and the financial concerns that you may have at the time of your reading. This indicates the beginning of new energy and revitalized interest in the material or financial areas of your life. This card may represent the beginning of new investments or the willingness to undertake a new business venture. There is also the possible indication of a legacy or influx of money from an unexpected source. The Ace of Pentacles heralds a feeling of prosperity and abundance and should be accepted joyfully. It is a very positive card in general. Oh, you lovely ace, showing up with your promise and hope. Showing me that my destiny is really in my hands. Bringing the magic of new beginnings and all of the potential that I can look forward to cultivating. As this is a Pentacle, this shows promise in the tactile world. Ace of Pentacles also talks about the home we grew up in. I have lived in many different places in my life but my first home was purchased in 2013. I have lived there for the last 5 years and am now planning on moving elsewhere. It being my first official "home", I have been contending with the lessons learned in home ownership and what we will do in the future.
As far as this being the theme for the upcoming year, I am excited. I want that potential and I am looking forward to the opportunities.
Now read these two cards together - what is their shared message? Are you looking forward to the coming year? Do you understand what they are saying, can you already see those opportunities, or is this stuff a total surprise to you? How can you work with these cards’ energy?
Back at it again, with the Pentacles. But now we add in the loveliness of Swords. LOL! Lawdy. While the Seven of Swords kind of makes me feel some type of way, the Ace of Pentacles shows me the potential. In the cards we see the figure in the Seven looking a little disgruntled at all the swords he is carrying and peering to the side, towards the Pentacle. I would say it is showing me to deal with some of the hard lessons for now, so that the fruits of the work pay off. He carries 5 swords, which reminds me of the conflict I am feeling, while the 2 extra swords teach me to look past my own blind spots. Will the changes be easy? No, but in the end they show me a path, a new place to become more physically and expression of this potential. The Ace card has 3 bushes, reminding me of celebration and happiness. Also, the 3 reminds me of the Empress. The highest level to work towards of not only the feminine, but also power.
So, I need to be honest and use the potential that is available to me. Easy, peasy, lemon squeezy. I suppose.
5 and 6. Today - Something to celebrate, Something to do.
If you’re wondering what to get up to today, here are some suggestions. Interpret these however you like, look for visual clues in the cards, have some fun with these two!
So, yesterday was my actual birthday, but I spent most of the day at my full-time job: working, had horrible traffic to contend with on my way home, and then spent the evening trying to work out, clean up, and worked on readings for clients. I didn't really "celebrate", but I did make time to pull a few cards for the Uranus in Taurus transit - which was interesting, and then decided to do a quick spread for my actual birthday.
Seven of Pentacles (Reversed) - "Recoup, regroup, reinvest"
The Magician - "Alchemy."
The meaning for the Seven of Pentacles:
This may come as a gentle but firm warning for you to re-evaluate where you are outlaying your time, energy, and money to ensure that the effort you are putting in will give a return. It may be prompting you to revisit steps within a process that you missed or overlooked. The reversed Seven can be highlighting scattered or unfocused energy with your activities - calling for you to take time to gather yourself and your thoughts before you make any rash decisions. Be true to you, not what you imagine. Sometimes you can pour your heart and soul into something, yet there may not be results. Allow your inner wisdom to speak truthfully so you may move forward freely and with ease. Take stock of what you still need to do and focus only on those things that will get you to where you want to be. You may find that there are a lot of things that you get involved in that are just not value-add. For example, email and meetings are huge time wasters if not used effectively. Try to get down to the 20% of tasks that deliver 80% of the value, and focus on these, rather than investing your time in tasks that do not deliver any results. I struggled to garner how this was something to celebrate - but I see it. I have been working on being more efficient in all areas. I am simplifying, clearing away the clutter and noise, and sticking to more reflective action. I have been so scattered in the last 2 years that I haven't been able to really focus on getting any one set goal done. Yesterday, I focused on one task at a time. While it seemed so irritating to not have 15 plates spinning at the same time, I realized that the pace I have been keeping has only been a disservice to me. By focusing I was able to do each thing as well as I could. With real intent and attention.
So, from this point forward I am celebrating real focus.
The meaning for The Magician:
You are gathering tools and harnessing your creative powers within t powerfully and actively manifest your bold vision. This is about implementing what you have observed has worked in order to commence a new life cycle that is reflective of your unique self and soul. You have moved forma he idea of doing something your own way, to now actually doing it! This is a highly dynamic process. You are beginning to understand how you and all your elements work. It is pure magic in motion - pure alchemy. This is the time to think outside the box. Test the waters. Small seeds grow - so start! The Magician appears in your life when you have the creative power and energy to create a new life cycle for yourself. You have the ability to take the power of the Universe and manifest your desires. It suggests that a situation has been (or soon will be) presented to you that has all the inherent components to allow the manifestation of your desires. You are inspired to apply skill and initiative to accomplish all your goals. You have a strong desire to begin something new, to ‘do, act, or go forth’. A ‘can-do’ attitude and strong sense of optimism will dominate a new beginning and thus the decisions that you make will have positive results. You have all the tools at your disposal to create whatever you desire. Before using these tools to manifest your desires, take some time to be clear on exactly what you want. A magician is always focused on his her her intent before working magic. Take a moment so there's total clarity. What you truly need and want? Is it in your highest good? This is a good omen when you have a specific wish, when you begin a project involving creativity, or when you need to make a transformation of any kind. Before using these tools to manifest your desires, take some time to be clear on exactly what you want. A magician is always focused on his her her intent before working magic. You have the ability to manifest what you desire now, so take a moment so there's total clarity. What you truly need and want? is it in your highest good? Is it in the highest good of the other person? Will it harm anyone? The Magician holds a special place in my heart, as it rightfully should. It is the card that showed me the doors to opening myself back up to reading Tarot. As I went through my day, focused on each task, I realized I needed a bit of magic in my day. A dear friend of mine, Colin from Queer Cosmos, called me to wish me a Happy Birthday and that turned into an almost hour long conversation about magic, our projects, our alchemy, our creativity, the beauty in astrology, and also just being out here doin' the damn thing.
He inspired me to make room in my day for the magic. I tend to just go-go-GO, no matter what else is going on, so I tend to forget to do some special stuff just for myself. Perhaps he was the Magician's call that I needed in order to add a little sprinkle of that magic dust on my day. It also has given me the needed inspiration to get through the growing stages.
7. A birthday message from your ancestors.
They want you to know something. Listen carefully.
Eight of Pentacles - "Honing your zone of genius."
There's been a deep shift within you. You are increasingly focusing your energies on becoming the expert in your field of skill and interest. This may also mean you're being internally guided to explore and learn different areas of your profession or branch out further into areas that require your dedicated time. This is the card of craftsmanship, where you are encouraged to commit fully to ventures that ignite your heart. You may find your passion and interest levels see you withdraw slightly from family and friends as your integrate this new wave of energy and inspiration, making room for it within you life to allow it to grow and blossom.
The Eight of Pentacles confirms that you established a strong foundation internally and externally. From here you are being called to step further into yourself and your skill area, embracing them for what they are and what they offer you and others. Know that there will be strong signs of confirmation along they way to honing you knowledge, with success and satisfaction being the reward.
If you find that you are on the brink of something, yet it is unclear what, ask yourself some simple questions - what part of a bookshop would you bee-line to? What is in your browser history? What part of your day or week do you enjoy most? And go from here.
The Eight of Pentacles is the card of apprenticeship. An apprenticeship, whether actual or metaphoric, is a time of learning new skills and a time of beginning something that one has not previously done. In this sense, the Eight of Pentacles indicates that you are experiencing or about to experience a change or a new beginning in terms of your work, education or financial circumstances. However, unlike many of the other cards indicating change or renewal, the Eight of Pentacles symbolizes a concentrated determination to master the new skill being learned and the single-minded effort of someone who has consciously chosen a new career path or creative undertaking. This card shows a diligent and hard-working attitude, and indicates that you are applying yourself fully to whatever is at the center of your attention. This card creates success through perseverance and individual initiative as opposed to luck or the generosity of others. The Eight of Pentacles is encouragement to keep doing what you are doing as it will eventually lead to success. Yes, it requires a lot of dedication, focus and patience but as each day passes and as you stay true to your values and beliefs, you get a little closer to your goal. It may not be as apparent as you may like but events are unfolding that will lead you to the right path. Continue working on yourself, too, and making ongoing improvements and adjustments to ensure that you are the best person you can be.
Another Pentacles cards, another message. Please know that it makes me giggle, but it also made me proud to see this card as the message from my ancestors. My parents are immigrants and I often share my pride in knowing that I come from a long line of hardworking people. I have worked very hard to be successful in this life. I have also been very lucky to have parents that showed me how to do so, they always reached for their goals with calloused and determined hands.
I am not doubtful that my own ancestors were the same way. Always working towards the goals they had. I also feel like the Eight of Pentacles showed up to teach me a little more about the beauty in the hard work. The lessons that have been garnered by my dedication. I am avoiding perfectionism, as that is often my downfall.
It is a card about commitment, hard work, and dedication. All qualities that I value in all areas of my life. I love to learn and this card just shows me that it is okay to keep studying and learning, but also to apply what I have been learning. I can't remain a student forever without using the skills that I have learned. At some point I need to bust them out and share the knowledge.
I am being encouraged to keep making active steps towards my goals. All in all, it looks like this entire year is going to be focused on making my dreams physical reality. No more hiding in the shadows.
Thanks for joining me for what was going to be a short-ish post, but ended up becoming a novel. Do you do anything magical for your birthday? Thank you all for the lovely wishes and energy! I hope your week is as magical as you are!
Know that I love you. All ways. Always.