The Do's and Don'ts of Empath Holidays
This fantastic post is by Dana, the owner of the wonderful site empathrising.com. Check out her account on Instagram - @empaths_and_hsp for your daily dose of Empath Awareness! All posted material is credited to Dana and her website, and has been posted here with her permission. Edits made by me, were also approved by Dana.
So, shits about to get real here fellow Empaths! Here’s what I am going to offer you because for me to pretend that I am all sunshine, lollipops and rainbows excited about the holidays would be a total, absolute lie. It creates a lot of inner conflict for most of us because this is a time where people open their hearts and start “Believing” in the… Well, the Holiday Spirit but whatever – I’ll take it!
The conflict to this is whenever people begin to expose their soft, feely selves it triggers the release of a lotttttt of shit and that is so hard on the psyche of most that the back lash is inevitable. So I thought, perhaps if I explain some of the do’s and don’t and bring some light heartedness to the cluster of expansion and snap back of others – perhaps you will feel better prepared for your yearly experience of real life, “Survivor.”
When surrounded by family members at dinner or in the same room:
DO allow yourself to remain free spirited and appreciate the free spirited of some of those tight assed family members that actually cracked a joke and perhaps even smiled for the first time in years.
DON’T expect this to last more than that moment. Remember that just as shocked as you might have been at Uncle Crankypots belly laugh, he might be also. When people step way outside theirself, suddenly they need to take a moment and process. So give this. Perhaps a gentle reminder of “what a wonderful laugh you have” or “how beautiful is your smile?” as reassurance its ok for them to feel liberated from their hardened self – but definitely don’t expect the moments to last and don’t expect them to be changed people.
DO feel free to express yourself however you see fit. Be funny, be serious, be reserved, be calmly assertive, be outspoken, be attentive and engaging with others, be a good listener, be an observer with nonverbal communication responses to ridiculous questions…
DON’T expect to be heard, validated, appreciated, respected or understood. Speak all you want and however you feel appropriate – but don’t expect for others to suddenly understand your new found comprehension of your multidimensional, empathic, intuitive, spiritual self. Even if you can explain yourself well, it’s not really even fair to suddenly expect family to respect your need for space, silence, etc after all these years of allowing them to just run you ragged without your expressing your self needs previously. I’d say it’s probably a good idea to re-read the previous DO and then come back to this DON’T again.
DO scope out the person you feel most comfortable around and if it’s all close corners, make efforts to be next to or near those individuals.
DON’T feel bad about excusing yourself as often as you feel necessary from the close corners of the loudness, touchy feely, all up in your bubble relatives. For years and years, I have just told people I have massive stomach problems – no one asks about my 50,000 times excusing myself to sit in the bathroom throughout the day anymore. When people say “Where are you going?” and you say, “I have diarrhea” really, they shut up quickly. I take the embarrassing hit up front mostly because, I don’t really care and I know the truth and even if people are like “That’s so gross why did you say that?” I’m all “ummm, because you is nosey”. (Insert handflip emoji here).
DO come up with a few security blanket methods to sooth yourself when triggering. This may sound backwards but truthfully when we are internally freaking the fudge out, we need to provide the body with means to exert this nervous, anxious, transmutable energy. Remember, you are an Empath – that means you are like… well, you are basically one of Earth’s kidneys, serving as the filter for removal of waste (low vibing) energy for the well-being of evolution as a whole so it’s actually necessary for you to do something with all of that “filtered energy.” In order to do this, you have to find the best means to sooth yourself by hyper stimulating your PHYSICAL senses. (chew gum, do squats, keep the fat cat on your lap, hug your lover, wear a tight undershirt, wear lots of jewelry to fidget with, keep warm coffee cup in your hands, sniff flowers, stir pots, listen to some edm music, go for a quick walk, get some cold fresh air inside the lungs, etc).
DON’T attempt to sedate your overwhelmed energy without your own consent. What I mean by this is, have a few drinks, smoke whatever you want, indulge the way you want – but DO NOT eat, drink, smoke, sex, or any other sedative release that you will regret the next day. Be honest with yourself, if you are doing things in “excess” just because it calms the internal chaos temporarily in a suppressive manner, understand this will come back out the next day tenfold.
DO realize that as an Empath – you are very powerful, more powerful than you have probably been willing to give yourself credit for. Your family members can only effect your INTERNAL self if you allow them to by believing they have any power over you. Are you going to feel their energy? Sure. Is it going to be a bit harsh on the Central Nervous System? Highly likely. Are you going to die?Absolutely not. Keep mindful that you are a Healer being and feeling others low vibing behavior might be offsetting however – it is what you are designed for and therefore just allowing yourself to serve this Earth as you were intended, you will find yourself much more at peace around others (even if you don’t particularly care to be around them, and/or need a few days after to recharge.)
DON’T allow yourself as an Empath to believe you require Protection & Shielding in order to survive. Don’t give yourself an excuse to feel victimized by your environment. As I said before, you were created as an Empath and your body, your being, intuitively knows exactly what it is supposed to do without you interfering. For you to resist this and prevent that energy from flowing naturally, you will make it worse, blocking it and lock it inside you which creates an issue as explained above. When we believe being an Empath is a “curse” and that it creates negativity, anxiety, etc – we force ourselves into victimization mentality and actually the only thing at that point that offsets us is our own INTERNAL low vibrational state of being.
…And a few more Do’s:
DO allow yourself to have fun and smile and enjoy every breathtaking moment that occurs when you consider each and every person is connected to you on a Soular Level and that you have been Soul Family for hundreds and thousands of years!
DO feel empowered by what you are, regardless if anyone else can comprehend it. You are magickal!
DO allow yourself to express more Unconditionally Loving ways of existing, potentially activating something within the Soular essence of those family members in your presence.
DO be compassionate, kind and gentle with yourself during this time – providing plenty of still, quiet, calmness the few days after your thanksgiving harvest.
DO be super appreciative for the small laughs, smiles and opportunities that come about in the moment by making the very best out of the PRESENT – not focusing on past or future.
DO feel heard, validated and appreciated by a Higher Source than the physical manifestation of the human vessels you see in front of you. Remember that each on goes on their journey in their own way, has their own hardships they are attempting to figure out and that sometimes you just have to let assholes do the stupid asshole shit they do.
DO allow yourself to feel Self Love and repeat this to yourself as many times as necessary throughout and let it lead you, “I am Love. I am Light. I am Human and I am the only one whose opinion of me that matters.”
Remember, being an Empath is not the easiest task – but it is a DIVINE Calling and use this experience to empower you to practice your Boundaries, your Self Care, your Emotional Detachment. I encourage you to go back and re-read these methods now and again right before you are around everyone tomorrow!
As Glinda the good witch said in the Wizard of Oz, “You’ve always had the power my dear, you just had to learn it yourself.”
…Check out the other Empath Social Media Support…
Instagram – Empaths & HSP
Facebook Group – Empaths Be Like
About Dana of Empath Rising
My name is Dana and through my journey as an Implicate Empath, I have revealed to myself that my purpose is to serve as a Self Awareness Advocate, empowering the infinite self evolution of Awakening Sensitives, Highly Sensitive People (HSP) and Empaths.
Love & Light All Ways, Dana